Tom’s* story: told in his own words at Day One’s Annual Celebration 2009
Hi my name is Tom and I am currently incarcerated at the Long Creek Youth Development Center until my 21st Birthday. I’m currently 18. My charge that brought me to Long Creek is Manslaughter.
It all started when I was 12 years old. I started out smoking cigarettes with my friends and getting into trouble at school. Almost immediately I went from just smoking cigarettes to smoking marijuana on a regular basis. I fell into the wrong crowd and caved into peer pressure. I would say at 13 I was smoking an average of an eighth of marijuana daily. At the age of 14 I was introduced to crack cocaine and easily got hooked on it. I would go on weekend binges and not come home for days on end. At the same time I started to supply all my friends with any drug that they wanted. I was selling drugs to support my habit. In the midst of all this I had my first child born. Now being under the pressure of being a father and a drug addict I got deeper into my drug addiction and started to regularly sell and use powder cocaine.
This is when my attitude towards life changed for the worse. I didn’t care about life or death. All I cared about was numbing any pain that I had and making it all go away. At this point having a kid and wanting to continue my drug addiction made me turn to crime to support my addiction and my child.
At 16 I went "car shopping" with some friends one night and we were stealing anything and everything we found in peoples cars. At the end of the night when it was about 5 a.m. we were done and started walking home and two cops passed us and turned right around and stopped to talk to us. I was carrying the backpack with all of the stolen items in it. I picked up 14 charges from that one night for all the different items that were taken. The time came when I was called into court to answer for the crime I had committed. I admitted to my wrongdoings and got sentenced to a 90-day program at the Youth Services Center. Upon completing that program I had to complete a year of Supervised release.
I went through that program and acted like I was changing and saw the road I was going down but I was putting on an act the whole time. I knew right when I got out I was going to go back to using drugs and my life of crime. Needless to say I completed the program and got out and started smoking marijuana again within my first three months of release. I would call my probation officer and tell him I wasn’t going to be able to pass a drug test and as long as I was up front he let me get away with it once every couple of months.
I want to also mention at this time my relationships were all starting to crumble. My relationship with my Fiancée most of all. I would spend all the extra money on drugs and show no sympathy to her. She was a teenage mother going to school and working nights to support her child and all I would do is worry about my money for drugs. This is when we started arguing a lot more and spending less and less time together. I would leave her to take care of my daughter. My relationship with my parents was just a simple Hi and Bye when I would come and go.
In November, I made the decision to go to my friend’s house to party. I ended up running into one of my past girlfriends and hooked up with her and stayed for a couple of days. I was traveling back and forth from Maine to New Hampshire to do cocaine pickups and I would bring my friends with me. I decided to head to my friend’s house to bring him to pick up some cocaine. I had brought two people with me that night and we were all sitting in the front seat and I was the only one wearing a seatbelt. I had just gotten my license about a month before this so I thought I could speed and handle it.
I decided that once I got on the road I was going to speed and "show off" to my friends. I was going about 50mph down a 25mph road. I came up to a hill and I lost control of my vehicle. I locked the breaks up and went head-on into a tree. I remember nothing about the next day and I awoke on November 7th in Maine Medical Center I found out I had broken my left fibula bone, right heel, two ribs, and every bone on the right side of my face. I still remember the first thing I asked when I woke up, I said, "How are my friends?" My mother told me, "She didn’t make it". All the pain of my injuries couldn’t compare to the pain that I felt when I heard that. I cried for at least 12 hrs and wouldn’t talk to anyone.
I left the hospital 5 days later and immediately started using marijuana constantly. I would smoke at least a quarter ounce to half ounce a day. Soon after I started smoking crack cocaine everyday. I spent $3,000 in one month on crack. I stopped using crack and switched to LSD and Ecstasy everyday. I was supporting my habit by selling drugs and ripping people off. I was trying to kill myself and not think about what happened to my friend. I was on the road to death and if I kept going there’s no doubt in my mind I would’ve been dead within a year.
Which brings me to where I am now. I came to Long Creek Youth Development Center. I decided when I came here I was going to get clean and live my life to pay back for my mistake and do everything right that I can. I have done restorative justice and also substance abuse counseling with my Day One counselor. I have taken a deep look at myself and why I’m here. I can now accept that it is my fault why I’m here and I deserve to be sitting where I’m sitting. If it wasn’t for Day One services I can’t say I would have made as much progress as I’ve made since my stay here. Day One has taught me to take responsibility for my actions and that drugs will lead me to my death. I would like to take this time to thank Day One and Long Creek Youth Development Center for giving me my life back and opening my eyes to the big picture. This truly is a blessing in disguise. Specifically to my Day One counselor I say thank you so much for sticking by my side and fighting for me and not letting me lie to myself or anyone else. You helped me mend my relationship with my Fiancée and made it possible for me to be the father I am today. I ask this of you all please go home and tell family, friends, and loved ones of the story I’ve told you. I want to reach as many people as possible and hope that my story will help other teenagers think about their actions before they act on them.
*Name has been changed